They are watching you
* I am the pwnage, bitches! *
(Subtitle Translations by Your Name)
Apparently some people think that, y'know, playing games all day is just.. is just y'know.. fun
And they think that maybe when you game all day for like 12 hours that you're not doing stuff
And you're not like, uhh.. y'know, accomplishing like life goals or whatever
And so apparently y'know some people think that that's like good enough reason to, y'know..
Take your computer away
Y'know it's just not fair sometimes y'know, you just feel like..
You pwn so much and then nobody appreciates it anyways y'know, like..
Just a bunch of noobs
They think that maybe if they take your computer away
You're gonna like start accomplishing more stuff
Like somehow better than 50-0 on aztec
Wait 'till the tournaments start rolling in and I'll be making big money pwning noobs
Like 80-0 on dust2 like no problem
So she's like "Go to school and stuff" and I'm like..
I school people all day long, y'know..
So I tell her like I'll take her to school, if she wants to go to school so bad
And she doesn't think that's funny
Then she adds a week or whatever onto whatever
I'm stuck here in an empty room
- So you're gonna come out tonight?
No, I'm not going anywhere Kyle.. the only place I'm going is to go see Dave
So I can use his computer and do some stuff Kyle
Like I'm gonna be noobified!
- Anastasia is gonna be there man, she wants to meet you
So? Who's that? I don't care about some girl who wants to meet me or whatever - She plays games too apparently
Yeah? - Yeah Alison says she's pretty good at whatever game she plays
Yeah I'm sure she's like real awesome
- Jeremy I told her you'd be there, if you don't show up you're gonna make me look bad
Ok Kyle, but only 'cause Dave isn't gonna be home for an hour anyways.. then I'm gonna go there and totally pwn some CS like after I meet this girl..
probably 160,000 pounds..
Y'know Kyle like I'm thinking..
like I might not go back home
I think I might move to like Sweden-land
'Cause like I heard that they play like tons of games and like the girls are like real hot
And like lots of people write the show and they're like "Yeah come stay with me, like that'd be awesome"
Y'know it sounds pretty cool
Like I don't know where it is.. like I think it's near California
So maybe I'll just get a bus and go down
But I just know, Kyle, that..
There's just nothing for me at home anymore, y'know?
I just feel like I'm mature, like as a person, and it's time to move on
Just go out and pwn the world now..
- What the hell?
- I didn't think those could ring in Canada
I didn't think so either Kyle
- Hello?
- It's for you..
Hello?
Yeah.. yeah, well I found like 3 so far, but..
Yeah! No, but you said like we had..
Oh no..
Ok..
This is the place Kyle? - Yeah this is it
- That's them over there
Kyle.. Kyle.. - What? What?
That.. that's her Kyle - Yeah I know that's her
No.. no no, you remember like from the night like at the bar Kyle?
Hey! I heard you saying that you pwn at games..
That's really cool.. it's really.. kinda hot
Y'know there was like the girl.. you went to the bathroom that girl came up and totally told me I owned
Like I totally succeeded the one time.. the girl kissed me Kyle!
That's her Kyle
- Jeremy where are you going? Get back.. no seriously, Jeremy come here.. Jeremy, Jeremy! No no I wanna tell you something! Come here..
- You're not going ok? You're not gonna be playing games tonight ok? You gotta at least talk to her..
- Just say Hi.. introduce yourself
Kyle.. - You have to at least talk to her ok? She's here.. she's here to see you
- Hey guys!
- Hi! Uhh.. Jeremy, this is my friend Anastasia.. this is Jeremy
- Jeremy really likes to play computer games
- Anastasia likes playing computer games too!
Yeah..
Why does your boyfriend have a camera?
- I don't know, he does that sometimes
Like what kinda games do you play?
WoW.. like World of Warcraft
What's that? like..
It's an MMO
Warcraft.. and an MMO.. at the same time eh? like..
That's.. that's cool..
- I really like Minesweeper.. that's my favorite
- So do you guys want some drinks? What do you guys want?
Bawls? Bawls?
So you.. you like Bawls?
No! Like I didn't.. No I don't mean like.. no..
I gotta go to the bathoom Kyle, like I'll be right back
- Yeah Kyle, I'm gonna go too..
- So how many kids are you guys gonna have?
What? - Are they gonna play RTS or MMO?
You're funny
- What do you mean I'm funny?
I just mean that that was kind of a funny thing ... - Like how am I funny?
I was just ... - Funny like a clown? Like clown funny?
- Like I'm here to amuse you? Is that how I'm funny?
- You said it! You tell me how I'm funny!
- What is so fucking funny about me?
- That's Goodfellas.. haven't you seen Goodfellas? Martin Scorcese? You haven't seen that movie?
Look, just give this to Jeremy Ok? I gotta go.. - You haven't seen Goodfellas?
- Where are you going?
Where'd.. where'd she go Kyle? She in the bathroom?
- No she just left.. she just got up and left..
She left? What do you mean she left? - She wrote that down, she told me to give this to you, and she left
Blackrock Mountain.. Frostwolf.. what's this Kyle?
- I don't know, she wrote that down before she left and then she's just gone.. Well did you say something? Why did she leave Kyle?
- I didn't say anything! She just got up and left! She just left? While I'm in the..?
I'm outta here Kyle, this is stupid.. - Where are you going?
- Hey Dave how's it going? Pretty good Kyle
- What's going on Jeremy?
Kyle I found it..
Blackrock Mountain..
It's a place! And Frostwolf's a place Kyle!
- Where is it? Is it in Toronto?
No Kyle, it's inside Warcraft!
- What, like Warcraft 3?
No, Kyle.. World of Warcraft! That game she was talking about! The MMO..
She wants me to meet her in the game, Kyle..
I mean it's Warcraft, and it's an MMO.. but at the same time, like..
I kinda like..
wanna meet her again
- So what are you gonna do?
I guess I'm gonna get the game, Kyle
I'm gonna get that right now
Ok I got it Kyle
Maybe like in a year I'll get to play something.. come on let's go
Is that guy an Orc?
Check out the skills here Kyle, you gotta close-up on the skillz
Watch these skills Kyle! Watch the skills!
Oh Kyle..
LOL!
Maybe this is like how you're supposed to play?
No.. no it's not really any harder like that
Maybe I should just take my balls out like..
Oh! I can like play with my balls! Yeah my balls are playing it!
There's somebody.. yeah that's like a.. I'm gonna kill this guy right here
Hold on I'm gonna kill this guy..
Invalid target?
Kyle! OMFG! I can't even kill this guy Kyle!
Apparently you can't pwn noobs, like, in this game.. like you're supposed to group with 'em
In this game what you do is you say
"Hey like do you wanna be good friends and let's chat it up and maybe help each other out..
'cause I don't have like any balls, like I don't wanna kill you"
Oh I'm like totally gonna chat that guy to death, where'd he go?
You're a total noob
Kyle, like.. you can play this game, and you don't even need to touch a keyboard
Oh hold on..
Whoa, what's that about? like..
Congrats like you reached Level 2.. you gained some stuff, like..
I'm smarter, and I got like more hitpoints and stuff
That's like.. I guess that's like kinda cool
- Jeremy you should turn this off
Yeah totally like, such a waste of my time y'know, but..
Just one sec like I'm just gonna kill like a couple more of these things here, hold on one sec
Ok I'll.. whoa
Whoa like Level 3..
I gained 6 more hit points Kyle, like.. I'm smarter again too, like..
Feels pretty good though, like I mean..
I'm not saying it feels good like I owned something, I'm just saying.. y'know
Kinda makes me feel pretty good, like a bit
Ok guys uhh.. how much longer are you gonna play this?
Just like a couple minutes Dave, hold on a sec.. like I just started like gimme one sec..
I totally.. I just wanna finish this quest, I'm like almost done.. 2 seconds
I gotta fucking sleep man!
That ok like, you can go to sleep.. I'll turn the sound off
- Hey Jeremy we really should go now
- Jeremy.. Jeremy..
Kyle.. what? Kyle..
- We gotta go! Can you log out or what?
Kyle I'm busy Kyle like can't you see?
I'm tanking like two mobs at the same time, like trying to keep myself healed like.. you think this is easy?
Come on.. like gimme a break here
- Ok so how much longer are you gonna play?
Kyle I don't know like, when I'm done y'know, like..
Gawd
- So when are you gonna be finished? I don't know Kyle! like..
I gotta play with my new spells a bit, like I'm not just gonna go to bed after getting some new spells, I'm gonna play with them a bit
And this guy.. this guy in the town just asked me to do something for him like..
I'm not gonna tell him I'm gonna do it and then go to bed and not do it for the guy
- Ok well I'm gonna go then, uhh.. I guess I'll.. I guess I'll see you guys later then
Yeah ok bye Kyle
- Jeremy what are you doing? Whoa Kyle! No I was..
Kyle come on, I was just cleaning my monitor a bit like, it was a bit.. a bit dirty
Why are you filming Kyle? - Why did you turn the monitor off?
Well 'cause I couldn't really see the dirt anymore, so like
You can see it like a lot better.. when you turn the light off like, shouldn't you go? Don't you have something to do?
- Well actually I came here to tell you that Mom wants you to come home
I'm not gonna come home Kyle, like I got a new place to live
- I don't think Dave wants you staying on his floor anymore
No like I don't mean with Dave, like.. I'm gonna live in Azeroth.. like at the Inn in Iron-
- How do you live in a game? I don't understand
Well I.. I just.. like I'm bound in Ironforge, so I just kinda hearth back there at night
I stay at the Inn, I get some rest experience - What are you gonna eat?
Well there's food and drink in the game.. like gets your mana and your health back like extra fast, it's no problem
- Ok fine, do whatever you want.. you can stay here I don't care
I will Kyle!
So World of Warcraft y'know, it's like..
Y'know it's like the best MMO out there
Takes EQ2 right, and like gives it some of those.. like y'know like that's EQ2 like right there
Y'know I've been playing for like a while.. like I got Level 60 in like.. y'know like..
2 days or whatever
Just for fun like I like to hang outside of Blackrock Mountain
And y'know I just kinda throw noobs in the lava with Mind Control
So basically, 'cause it's an MMO..
I'm like the only one with skills 'cause of all the RTS
Tonight I figure like I'm gonna go solo in Molten Core
This one time like, this Shaman and this Rogue like jump me
'Cause they think 2 on 1 they got a chance
So I fear 'em both y'know, I just kinda start Mana Burning the Shaman
Soon I'll hit'em up with like Shadow Word: Pain, I'm like..
Mind Flay him as he tries to run for his life
Y'know I'm like totally Mind Flaying and I'm like "You like the Shadow Word: Pain?
You want some Shadow Word: Pain? Yeah I'll give you some Shadow Word: Pain!"
And then I turn on the Rogue and he's like by himself right, so I feel kinda bad for him 'cause he's like such a noob he doesn't even have a stunlock build
So I fear him again and I kinda just throw on a Renew and a Shield
Then I decide it'd be fun if maybe I just beat him down with like my Glowing Brightwood Staff
So there I am like, this Priest, just kinda tanking this Rogue 'cause he's such a noob he can't even outdamage my Renew
And then I like, did some /chickens like on his corpse like when he's laying there
Oh Mind Blast! You like my Mind Blast! Don't you? You like that Mind Blast..
- Hey Dave! Hey Kyle
- I was just going to your place to see Jeremy
Yeah you better take a look at him, he's like.. he hasn't moved for 6 days and.. - What?
I know, he hasn't been eating anything all day and I'm just like
"Aren't you gonna get something to eat?" and he's like
"Well my Spirit is so high that I'm just gonna sit here and regen" - What?
Yeah I know - Is he ok?
I don't know man, I think he's pretty messed up - Shit..
- Jeremy? Jeremy?!
- JEREMY!
Holy shit!
- JEREMY! Dave! Call an ambulance! Now! Call an ambulance!
- JEREMY! JEREMY!!
(Centre for Addiction and Mental Health)